On The Books

It's no secret that I used to be a professional writer before I came to my senses and quit in 2002. It's likewise no secret that enough kind, considerate, and completely insane individuals have been asking about finding examples of my old essays and articles in print form. All of that coalesced in 2009 with the publication of two chrestomathies of previously published material, in the form of Greasing The Pan: The "Best" of Paul T. Riddell and The Savage Pen of Onan: The "Best" of the "Hell's Half-Acre Herald, Volumes One and Two of the Proverbs 26:11 Papers, both through Fantastic Books.

Trade Paperback, 484 pages
Fantastic Books (March 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1604597216
ISBN-13: 978-1604597219

Greasing the Pan is a compilation of articles, essays, and pranks written between 1992 and 2002 for a plethora of science fiction magazines, small-press zines, weekly newspapers, and Web sites. This is in addition to an extensive collection of news articles by one Edgar Harris, the former Sports Editor of Science Fiction Age magazine. Among other things, it includes essays on the ecological effects of a manned Mars colonization effort with the human colonization of New Zealand as an example, discussions of magazine distribution and why science fiction magazines are doomed without a new distribution model, and the notorious "Borders Books & Music Online Employment Application".

Trade Paperback, 412 pages
Fantastic Books (April, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1604597232
ISBN-13: 978-1604597233

The Savage Pen of Onan was an early Web experiment in online journalism, which rapidly metamorphosed (some say metastasized) into a regular online mailing list essay running from 1998 to 2002. This collection covers Texas politics, the uselessness of chain bookstore protests, problems in the garden with mutant squirrels and rabbits, and how I know that savannah monitor urine looks exactly like crack cocaine. It's not pretty and it's not timeless, but at least it tries its best to be entertaining.

Anyway, both books are available through Ingram Distribution, which means that they can be ordered from any bookstore that uses Ingram for its trade paperback distribution. Indie, chain, online: it doesn't matter. However, for those who wish to be given choices, we have the main online booksellers' information:

• Greasing the Pan on Amazon
  
• The Savage Pen of Onan on Amazon
  
• Greasing the Pan on Barnes & Noble
  
• The Savage Pen of Onan on Barnes & Noble
  
• Greasing the Pan on Powell's Books
  
• The Savage Pen of Onan on Powell's Books
  

For those with an understandable urge to buy their books from independent booksellers, both are available via IndieBound, and I encourage asking your friendly local bookstore or online book retailer to order copies. I have to admit that I recommend these sellers, but that's because they're run by personal friends:

• St. Johns Booksellers (Portland, Oregon; signed copies available)
  
• Mark Ziesing Booksellers (Shingletown, California; signed copies available)
  

I'm also amenable for arranging signings, readings, and general events: as with the plants, I also do children's parties. Contact me for more particulars, and I'm sure we can work out something.

Oh, and for those on Facebook, the books have their own group. Feel free to visit and check on the latest events.

And for those who keep commenting about my perceived return to writing, rest assured that this is nothing but a blatant attempt to finance a new greenhouse. In fact, for the individuals who'd prefer that I stay gone, buy lots of copies. Build a house out of copies. Build a bridge to Neptune with copies. The more you buy, the sooner I'll have that greenhouse, and the sooner you won't have to deal with me again. Deal?